Socializing with ADHD



Bryan Cordova,
Managing Editor

My mornings are like most people. I eat, I shower, I brush my teeth, I prepare my backpack and get ready to leave. I would say the main difference is I need an additional 15 to 20 minutes to find something I thought I already had. Whether it’s my wallet, keys, or phone, I spend most of my morning searching for things than I do anything else.

I hate doing homework, I think I have ADHD”

I know it may sound silly, and some people will say the easiest solution is to just leave them in the same spot every night, however the problem with that is that it requires a certain attention span to be able to follow through with that type of routine. That is something I and many other people struggle with because of ADHD.

People on campus often say things like “I hate doing homework, I think I have ADHD.” These types of statements are both ignorant and insensitive towards the community of people who are actually diagnosed with ADHD. We have a lot of struggles every day. Living with ADHD makes everything harder, especially socializing.

The hardest thing in college isn’t the studying; it’s the feeling of being left out in social situations. Feeling left out causes depression, and forces me to shut down and become antisocial with my friends and then the cycle starts. I see them on social media having fun with each other, and I tell myself to make plans with them soon. That soon becomes later, later becomes eventually, eventually becomes someday, and before I know it, months go by. I’m seen as unreliable so I don’t get invited out.

If I do happen to get invited somewhere, I mix up the day so I miss out on a fun time that the rest of my friends talk about. I get seen as flaky. It’s only then that I finally make the effort to reach out and make plans, and when I get to interact with them, it’s another battle.

Not being able to pay attention very well causes conversations with people to go very badly. My impulsive nature causes me to blurt out things without thinking them through, so sometimes I offend people or say things that most know is inappropriate. Once it is said I can’t take it back. I also miss social cues most people catch, so I become long winded and can’t tell if someone is bored or uninterested in the conversation.

To be perfectly clear, if you struggle to do homework or don’t read much, that is not a sign of ADHD, that is pure boredom. Now if someone struggles to study, read, loses things constantly, forgets to pay their bills on time, has frequent anxiety and depression, loses friends because they procrastinate making plans with them, has trouble keeping a conversation going and interrupts frequently, those are the struggles we go through being adults with ADHD.
It’s a terrible and difficult disorder that goes beyond that of education. It’s a struggle with socializing, relationships, work, personal health, and life in general, not an excuse for why you can’t get your homework done.

If you are struggling with ADHD or another disability, visit Accessibility Services on campus for resources and support.